If I Could Find You

When I touched you, if air didn’t smother

Words, how tenderly I would offer

This sadness drifting through rooms

Lit by candlelight, as dark as shadows, silent—

This emptiness cracks against my breastbone.

Tears seem scarce these days, the river in summer

Becomes a ribbon, curling around stones—

No one speaks the truth, animals

Prey on what is small and weak, what cannot

Hide in moving water, or hay as dry as the inside

Of my mouth when I try to tell you, I know

How the days pass quickly, leaving us mired

In the hour, the moment, the clock ticking

In an empty room our entire lives

In the flutter of the butterfly as it drops and dies

Caught on the wrong side of the glass

I examine its wings to see if there is anything to save

Even cool air falling down the mountain won’t

Bring back a life. I’m not sure I want

Anything from you, because what I want from you

I cannot have. It doesn’t matter, the bell doesn’t ring

Until you hear it. Blueberries fill the glass on the table

In my dream. I am thirsty. The sun is drinking the river—

I open my hands to show you.